Dallas: Ewings Unite! March 18, 2013

Image courtesy of Series News

Work begins this week on JR’s Masterpiece. If you recall, he was trying to find Pam, left a gun for John Ross to deal with Cliff, and left a mystery letter to Bobby that we assume tells who is responsible for his death. Oh and he was trying to stick it to Harris Ryland. The troops are gathered in JR’s bedroom at South Fork trying to piece things together when they are called to the reading of JR’s will. John Ross hangs back to lock up the “clues” and diddle with Emma.

I will say it again and again, there is something not right with Emma. She is definitely not the innocent she portrays to her family!

At the reading JR bequeaths the following:

·        His boot collection to Bobby.

·        A book to Christopher, basically telling him to grow some balls

·        A dove hunting gun to Ann provided she is not the reason for the reading of the will.

·        His heart to Sue Ellen

·        His share of oil rights to John Ross

o       Miss Ellie also leaves, upon JR’s death, half of South Fork to John Ross

·        Possibly my most favorite thing JR did is leave a bottle of whiskey to his recovering, AA honoree, brother Gary.

Christopher is still trying to get Allison Jones to buy into his methane as fuel for the city fleet of vehicles. She drops the bomb than Barnes Global made a compelling argument and hints that there is a way to get the Board on board with his methane. Christopher balks at the idea of taking her to bed and leaves.

Back at the office, the Ewings unite to bring Allison on board by having John Ross, “do what John Ross does”. Which is take Ms. Jones to bed. After their coital bliss, John Ross heads out to the balcony for some air and a little show for Bum who is photographing the two so that Christopher can blackmail Allison into getting the Board on board.

Christopher seems pretty jammed up over “crossing over to the dark side” even though he really didn’t do any of the crossing, that was all John Ross up in Ms. Jones.

I have to wonder if John Ross is a regular at the Free Clinic on STD Testing Day? The man sleeps with every walking female.

Gary arrives at Sue Ellen’s office to stage a little intervention and she is “fine” she doesn’t need him. She tells him that she was getting cozy with him to get the oil turned back on, but since Bobby has already done that (turn the oil on, not get cozy with his brother), she doesn’t need Gary anymore. Then she hits the bottle.

I will say it is nice that they are not just letting her slip off the sober wagon go unnoticed. It should be interesting to see how things go.

Sue Ellen calls up her old pal Valene and tells girlfriend to high tail it to Dallas and reclaim her husband.

I am beginning to think that John Ross has real feelings for Pamela.

Valene’s in the house!!!!!!!  Joan Van Ark is looking quite pretty if I do say so. She soon realizes that Gary is not really in the need for help and heads off to Sue Ellen’s office to let it be known that she knows what Sue’s doing. I was a little disappointed because it had the beginnings of a great old school cat fight. Val’s claws were drawn, but Sue Ellen was playing it cool and sincere.

Elsewhere, Cliff & Harris are teaming up to take down the Ewings. Harris has the muscle and Cliff has the money Harris needs to buy out Mama Ryland.

Also we find out that misguided Drew is tangled up with Ryland and his illegal trafficking business. Drew says he is out, but Harris’ muscle pulls him into agreeing to build a bomb to place on the rig. If he doesn’t Mr. Muscle explains that Elena’s death would be tragic. Hook, line, sinker.

So Drew heads off to Bombs R Us to get the needed supply for a little thing that goes bang. He frets over it and ultimately decides to build it. Then by the cover of night and a black hoodie, sneaks aboard the methane rig and plants a not so tiny bomb.

Harris is still all pissy towards Mama Ryland who drops her own bomb that she is heading back to England and once there will freeze all of Harris’ money and cut him out of the business. Harris cries like a three year old and then pushes Mama down the stairs. She wasn’t looking so good as the scene closed.

Over at The Rig, all the Ewings are aboard along with The Board and Miss Jones. Mr. Muscle is watching via his iPad, waiting for the moment to trigger the bomb. He notices that Miss Pamela is on the rig and calls Cliff to ask what to do. Cliff claims they “need witnesses” and tells him to go ahead with the plan. Mr. Muscle reminds Cliff that his daughter is pregnant. Cliff doesn’t much seem to care and tells him to proceed. Mr. Muscle kisses some sort of religious medallion and then sets off the boom.

Well then.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Is Cliff a cold hearted bastard or what? Is Mama Ryland dead? Did anyone else expect Ann to find the bomb when she went wherever she excused herself to? Is John Ross in need of stock in Trojan? Hit the comments and let me know.